Thank you Facebook.


Thank you Facebook.

You are amazing.

 

Thank you for bringing friends into town whose photos are on my feed.

They never called or visited but I see they were here.

 

Thank you Facebook.

You are amazing.

 

Thank you for the photographs I took of up and coming actors.

They never thanked me but they posted the photos on Facebook.

 

Thank you Facebook.

You are amazing.

 

Thank you for the friends who liked when my mother died.

They never wrote me cards or notes but their likes meant everything to me.

 

Thank you Facebook.

You are amazing.

 

Thank you for actors who I wrote parts for… who un-friended me the next day.

They will surely love the next parts I write.

 

Thank you Facebook for the 10 amazing ways to make my food tastier.

 

Thank you Facebook for the 7 shoes I must own.

 

Thank you Facebook for the 50 restaurants I must eat in before I die.

 

Thank you Facebook for updates on amazing celebrity spouses.

 

Thank you Facebook for amazing people who’ve passed on.

 

Thank you Facebook for amazing me every single moment of every single day.

 

Thank you for filling up my life with your feed rather than letting me fill up my life with life.

 

Did I tell you that you are amazing?
If not, let me tell you that you are amazing.

 

Facebook you are amazing.

The Blight of AMAZING


Chicago_World's_Fair_1893_by_Boston_Public_Library

I first become aware of this mutant word amazing spreading over the land, in 1989, when I started work at Ralph Lauren in NYC.

The store manager, red-haired, tailored up to his ears in custom shirt, knotted tie, and dunked in half a gallon of Diptyque’s Olene, would take his hands and adjust our collars or necktie before releasing us onto the sales floor to insure we properly emitted the aura of Polo to the public.

We were only let go when he said: “You look a-mazing”.

Twenty-four years later, amazing has our tongues in a vize grip. Reality TV, HGTV, make-overs, cooking shows, tweats and texts, all of it is infected with amazing.

It isn’t hard to find. It comes out of Andy Cohen, Michael Kors, and any 13-year-old girl on Facebook.

Its usage fits in with the penchant for American exaggeration and hype, to create a super-sized sales pitch for ordinary events and mundane things: Amazing omelette, amazing frying pan, amazing kid, amazing coffee, amazing Mom, amazing day, amazing walk, amazing sun, amazing beer, amazing toilet paper.

Amazing was once was reserved for a spectacular and rare event, such as the 1893 Chicago World’s Fair, which President Rutherford B. Hayes pronounced, “All surprisingly beautiful, amazing, unequalled…”

How noble and spectacular that World’s Fair was and how fittingly it was spoken of.

Once it bequeathed and anointed a World’s Fair. Now it is used in salad dressings and baked potatoes.

Here are some comments, chosen randomly, from the food blog White on Rice:

I love Cristina’s potatoes, they are amazing!

It’s amazing what can happen in a garden over a few summer days. Last week we headed up to Park City, UT for the amazing Evo Conference.

You’re photos are amazing and now I want to go visit Boulder CO!

We could see and smell the amazing flavors that a slow roasted fig could become.

When we asked all you amazing readers for tomato recipes, you all inspired us tremendously … Thank you for all that, you amazing people!

What you see before you are some truly luscious, silky, delicious and amazing blood orange bars.

That is all I have to say. I am off to go take an amazing dump…..